The Percabeth Revolution: You're A Mary Sue!
by xAethriax
Summary: I was tired of all the NicoxMarySue/OC so I wrote a crappy little fic about it. Very random, includes Sue-Raids, Sue-Fever, Mission Impossible theme songs, and an OC of a friend. Disclaimer: I am not Rick Riordan. The only thing I own is partial rights to Aethria.
1. Chapter 1: Sue Raid

(Third Person POV)

Aethria was pissed.

Every night for the past week (and most of the days too) she was woken up to the blaring of the Mary Sue alarms. Then, half asleep, she would run out of Hermes cabin with her dagger, find Nico corned in his cabin by one of the "nightmare beauties", as she called them, and would swiftly stab it, leaving a shower of purple glitter. Then she'd go back to bed until the next alarm came. Cause that's what best friends do, right?

She could remember when the first Mary Sue came. Her name was Pearl Glitter Fayne, and no one thought anything of it for the first week. Then, the boys noticably started swooning and drooling over her, leading to the girls jealously. Pearl had only eyes for Nico, and the other guys soon went about everything as they used to, so the girls did the same.

Except for Ria.

Ria had a crush on Nico. She became more and more jealous, especially when Conner and Travis made her give up her bed in the cabin for the nightmare beauty and made Ria sleep on the floor. Ria snapped. She took her dagger in the night, crept across the cabin and stabbed Pearl in the heart. Instead of the high pitched scream she was expecting, Pearl gave a soft,

"Oh," and exploded into purple dust.

Similar things kept happening, until they put up the barbed wire fence, spotlights, burglar alarms, ect. all around camp.

It didn't stop them.

Everyone could now recognize Mary Sues, but they kept creeping in. They would come, alone or in groups as large in numbers as 25. There was practically no sleep,an-

((Alarm blares, cutting off the pointless explaination and babbling that no one cares about.))

(Aethria POV)

Ugh here we go again. Dagger check, fake 'content with being best friends' personality check, pinpoint direction of screaming... The climbing wall! yes! I hope that the nightmare beauty is close to the top, I love a challenge.

So I'm running, I'm running, blah blah blah, throwing a water balloon filled with black hair dye at some Aphrodite girls, running...

Found it! Man it's barely even off the ground. No fun.

I scambled up the wall, holding my dagger in my teeth so I could use both hands to climb. OW CRAP I CUT MY TONGUE! No time Ria, no time...

Finally within range, I threw the dagger. I got lucky, and it stabbed it in the back. It fell 5 feet before disolving into dust for the last three. My dagger clattered to the ground.

Nico gave a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Ria. Again."

"No prob. Besides, it's not like there's anything else do to here..."

"Hey, you'll get a quest eventually."

We continued down the familliar path of chattting as we climbed to the top. I passed Nico and sat on top, occasionally cheering him on as he went. He finally reached the top, nearly getting burned by the lava. We sat in comfortable silence fo a while.

Conner and Travis, at the foot of the climbing wall, could easily make out who was sitting on top. They knew I had a crush on Nico, and tauntingly began singing Kiss The Girl from the Little Mermaid.

Nico frowned at them. "What are they doing?"

I blushed. I tried to hide it, but Nico noticed.

"Ria?" he said, slightly bewildered. "What's going on?"

"I...I kind of have a crush on you."

Nico stared in shock for a full minute. Two minutes. Three minutes... After nearly five minutes, he cried out in horror.

"You're a Mary Sue!"

"Wha...NO I'M NOT!"

He didn't believe me. I could see it in his eyes, along with shock, horror, and disgust. Before I could blink, his black sword was out and through my chest.

"HOLY CRAP THAT HURTS!" I yelled."WHY-"

I fell off the lava wall, dead, no purple glitter, no glitter at all unless you count random drops of blood, and landed infront of Conner and Travis.

(Conner POV)

Holy s*** I think he just killed my sister.

(Travis POV)

That's a lot of blood.

(Nico POV)

Oops.

THE END


	2. Chapter 2: Sue Fever

(Third Person POV)

Connor and Travis stared blankly at the crumpled body at their feet. Neither would have noticed when the lava wall bucked Nico off if he hadn't fallen on top of Ria.

"Hey, get off her!" Travis exclaimed. Connor shoved the son of Hades away from them.

"I didn't mean to!" Nico looked horrified at the corpse of his best friend.

Percy wandered by on his way to go woo Annabeth. He started blankly at the group for a minute. "Uh, if his father is God of the Underworld, can't you all just go down there and ask him to bring her back to life?"

Connor, Travis, and Nico smacked their foreheads in unison.

"Duh! I'm such an idiot. Let's go now, I can shadow travel us there."

The Stoll brothers grabbed Ria's body, Connor holding her arms and Travis her legs, and with a cry of "For Sparta!" they all disappeared.

Percy shrugged and started to walk away, but stopped seeing a book on the ground. As he picked it up, he realized it was a translation of "The Boyfriend Guide For Dummies" into Ancient Greek. Ignoring the large symbols proclaiming a painful death for anyone who stole it from the Hermes cabin, he started to flip through the pages. "Give her flowers. Hmm. . ."

(Nico POV)

We stepped out of the shadows, humming the Mission Impossible theme. I cleared the way with an imaginary gun, covering for the two guys behind me. One ghost turned and started blankly as we ran by. I frantically shot at her until she drifted away.

Travis and Connor panted as they moved to talk to me.

"Nice shot," said Travis.

"That was a close one," said Connor. "We need to be careful."

We edged the remaining five feet into the throne room.

"DADDY!" I screamed as soon as I saw him.

He winced and mumbled something that sounded like, "Oh Styx."

I put my hands on my hips and pouted. "Daaaaad. I need help!"

He rubbed his temples. Maybe he had a headache? Whatever. Anyways, he said something like, "If I do, will you leave?"

And I was like, "DUUUHH!"

And he was all, "Fine, fine! Tell me what you need and get out!"

"I need you to bring Aethria back to life, like fully okay? OH, and make sure I can't kill her again okay? You never know what might happen during a Sue-Raid."

Hades snapped and Ria jumped in her brothers' arms, gasping for air and clawing dramatically at her chest.

"'Kay, thanks dad! LATERZ!"

And we shadow traveled back to camp. Connor froze and turned to Travis.

"Do you have the book?"

"What? No! I thought you had it!"

Mirrored looks of horror dawned on their faces. "Percy," they whispered in unison. They dropped their sister unceremoniously in the dirt and ran off, screaming for the son of Poseidon.

I turned to my dazed best friend and yanked her up into my arms. "Oh Ria. Don't ever do that to me ever again. I was so heartbroken. . . I thought my life was over without you. I love you so much. Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

Her tired eyes looked confused for a moment and then annoyed. She slapped me. Hard.

"Aethria! Is your hand alright? Should I take you to the infirmary for that? I can carry you-" I was cut off when she put a finger on my lips. She whipped out a flashlight and shone it into my eyes. I stared lovingly at hers.

She swore in Greek, and it was adorable coming from her. "Come on Ghost Kid. It looks like you caught the Sue Fever. Especially when I know for a fact you were too busy playing secret agent with my older brothers to mourn me."

I trailed behind her obediently as she led the way to the infirmary grumbling to herself, too in puppy love to consider anything but follow her.

"First I don't sleep for three days straight. Then I confess my crush and get stabbed by the guy in question. Then I fall off the lava wall, breaking my leg. Then my idiot brother dislocates my shoulder while the other twists my broken leg when they carry me. Now I have to deal with this idiot AND I'm still bleeding from the chest wound I literally got two minutes ago. Wait, that much shadow travel in such a short time means-"

My world went black.

(Aethria POV)

I turned too late to catch Nico and watched as he passed out and face planted into the dirt.

"-Means I get to drag this idiot to the infirmary by pulling with a dislocated shoulder, walking on a broken leg, and still with a giant stab wound through my chest without any help because everyone is conveniently busy until I collapse in a bed. Just great."

With that, the most painful twenty minutes of my life (including that before my resurrection) began.


	3. Chapter 3: Recovery

When Nico woke up in the Big House the next day, it was to another blazing Sue Alarm. Ria was swearing, and a pretty blonde with baby blue eyes was exploding in purple glitter. His head was pounding.

"Thanks," he muttered after the alarm switched off and his best friend resettled herself in the chair at his bedside.

She nodded tiredly and rubbed at her broken leg. There was a bit of an awkward silence, something rare between them. He opened his mouth to complain about his headache, but Ria simply handed him a glass of nectar before he could comment. The throbbing inside his skull immediately eased.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, about half an hour later.

"It's fine, really. You know I will keep you safe Nicky," she teased. He ignored the jibe.

"Yeah. On the bright side, I think I managed to convince my dad to make you partially immortal."

"I heard. The wonders of what can be accomplished with the Nightmare Beauty Infection, yes?"

He laughed at her quiet sarcasm. "I can't believe both of us caught that."

"Both of us?" She asked warily.

"Of course," he scoffed. "We both know you'd never have a crush on me."

"Of course," she echoed with a wince.

"Your chest hurting you?" He misinterpreted the gesture.

Ria gave him a look that clearly doubted his intelligence, and glanced at the plate of ambrosia near his head.

"Right."

Attempting to lighten the mood, he jested, "I can't believe some of the things I said. Like that whole, 'Did your hand get hurt' thing! I'm surprised you didn't know what was wrong right away."

"I don't know. You did get pretty sappy watching _Notebook_ the other day."

He snorted. "I didn't know that having my eye water after you stabbed it with the popcorn bag counted as sappy."

Aethria covered her heart with her hand and dramatically spoke, "What? They kept her from reading the letters? That's just so... so..." She lowered her hand. "And then came the water works."

"Says the girl who bawled watching _Up_."

"Don't even go there Ghost Kid. Ellie and Carl had something _special_. No one can touch that."

He ruffled her hair, and she smacked his hand away. They bantered a while longer. Finally, they tired enough to drift off to sleep.

Ria jolted up, realizing that Nico had received the honor of the last word in the argument.

"At least I'm not the child of HADES who got so scared they had nightmares for a week after watching _Paranormal Activity_."

When Nico didn't respond, she examined him more closely. He was sound asleep, with a small smile resting on his lips. Ria sighed and resettled in her chair, being visited by Hypnos not long after.


End file.
